Road to Prosperity

It’s not often that I spit out my breakfast but that’s exactly what happened yesterday.
While crunching away on burnt toast I came across an article that both left me exasperated yet hopeful.
It was to do with Greece and pointed out a study that said there are more Porsche Cayenne’s registered in the beleaguered country than people who pay tax on income of € 50,000 or more.
Cue the airborne bacon.
For those of you not aware (where have you been the last two years?) Greece is in a little bit of trouble.
Put simply, after joining the currency union in 1999, Greece, having benefitted from the same low blanket interest rates afforded the likes of Germany and France, embarked on some pretty reckless spending.
After a decade of profligacy Greece accumulated an inflated public sector, a national debt standing at 160% of GDP, cash strapped banks and pretty much everything else currency union was supposed to eradicate.
The country where the Acropolis stands tall has become the Acrumbleis.
Help has been at hand though, most recently only last week when Angela Merkel and Nicolas Sarkozy secured a deal between the 17 Euro nations to bolster the European Financial Stability Fund by two and half times to € 1tn.
The agreement will also see banks recapitalised to avoid contagion throughout the Eurozone and not just a haircut of Greek bonds but a 50% military crew cut.
And it might not be enough.
Economists argue that an EFSF pool closer to € 2tn is required and a write down to investors closer to 70%.
The reality, then, that a country teetering on the brink of insolvency has more luxury German motors than middle-high band taxpayers is a little…mad.
But I think the Greeks are onto something here.
The tax evaders, scourge of Greece in the eyes of German taxpayers, might actually be assisting Prime Minister George Papandreou.
Let me explain.
Last year Greece spent € 7.5bn, 3.2% of GDP, on defence.
Why? The last time the Greeks were at war it was probably either with themselves or a basket case like Macedonia. It has 75 'trainers' in Afghanistan and only one frigate was used throughout the Nato mission in Libya. Excuse me for being blasé but does Greece even need a defence budget?
Well, yes, it does, and I know just how to spend it.
This year I propose that in order to meet stringent EU austerity measures the Greeks make use of their new-found wealth of expensive cars.
And not just the ones they already have.
Forget fighter jets, the Greeks should equip themselves with an army of 4x4’s.
After all, the Cayenne is quite a beast.
The newest model comes with a V8 engine, weighs almost 3 tonnes and does 0-62 mph in a blistering 4.6 seconds.
At € 90,000 it’s not the cheapest of weapons but calculating on a budget of € 7.5bn Greece could amass over eighty thousand of these monsters.
And if Greece does fall off the volcanoes’ ledge into financial abyss, it should at least thank its selfish tax exiles for spawning the world’s most beautiful army.